When Everything Feels Like Too Much: Finding Peace in the Chaos

There are times in life when it feels like everything is piling up. You might find yourself waking up with a knot in your stomach, weighed down by thoughts of work, relationships, finances, health, or even the seemingly mundane tasks of daily living. Recently, I did something I often recommend to others when they're overwhelmed—I made a list of everything that’s causing me stress. But what I found was that there wasn’t a single thing on that list that wasn’t stressing me out. When everything seems to be too much, where do you even start?

I want to unpack that overwhelming experience and offer some insight on how to approach life when it feels like every corner is brimming with stress. It’s a common experience, but when we feel like we’re drowning in responsibilities, worries, and stressors, it can seem impossible to figure out how to get out of it. Here are some strategies that might help when you can’t find relief anywhere.

1. Acknowledge and Validate Your Stress

The first step is to recognize that your stress is real and valid. Often, when everything is overwhelming, we can start to feel guilty for feeling the way we do. Maybe you’ve said things like, “Other people have it worse than me,” or “I shouldn’t be complaining about this.” But no matter what’s going on in your life, your feelings are important.

Give yourself the grace to admit that life is hard right now. You are not weak for feeling stressed—acknowledging your emotions is a sign of strength and self-awareness. This doesn't mean wallowing in negativity but simply being honest with yourself about where you're at.

2. Break the Cycle of Stress

When everything on your list feels like a stressor, it’s a sign that your stress response is in overdrive. This can cause a chain reaction where one stressful thing magnifies everything else. The goal is to break that cycle.

Try this simple exercise: take a deep breath, hold it for a moment, and then exhale slowly. Repeat this a few times until you feel your heart rate slow down and your body start to relax. Deep breathing engages the parasympathetic nervous system, which helps calm the body's stress response. It won’t fix everything, but it will give you a brief moment of relief and a clearer mind to think through the next steps.

3. Prioritize and Focus on What You Can Control

When you’re looking at a long list of stressors, it can be paralyzing. But not all stressors are equal, and some might require more immediate attention than others. Start by separating the things that are within your control from the things that aren’t.

Here’s the truth: You can’t fix everything all at once. And that’s okay. Take a look at your list and choose one or two things that are most pressing and that you can do something about today or this week. Maybe it’s paying a bill, scheduling a doctor’s appointment, or having a difficult conversation with someone. Focusing on what you can control helps you feel a sense of agency and progress, which can reduce feelings of helplessness.

For the things that are out of your control—perhaps something like global events, other people’s decisions, or unforeseen circumstances—practice letting go. You can’t change these things, and constantly thinking about them will only add unnecessary stress. It’s a difficult mindset shift, but it’s essential for your mental health.

4. Carve Out Time for Rest

When everything is overwhelming, rest can feel like a luxury you can’t afford. But the truth is, you can’t afford not to rest. Stress depletes your energy, clouds your judgment, and can even make you physically ill. You need moments of rest to recharge and think more clearly.

Rest doesn’t always mean sleep (although sleep is crucial!). It can also look like stepping away from a stressful situation to take a walk, spending a few minutes doing deep breathing, or engaging in a hobby that brings you peace. You might feel tempted to push through and "power on," but in the long run, this only drains you more. When your list is full of stressors, prioritizing rest is an act of self-compassion that allows you to regain some energy and resilience.

5. Seek Support From Others

Sometimes, when everything feels stressful, it’s because we’re trying to carry the load all on our own. But you don’t have to. Reach out to friends, family, or a counselor who can listen, provide perspective, and even help with some of the burdens you're facing. Don’t feel like you have to face everything alone.

Talking through your stressors can help you see them more clearly and identify practical solutions you may not have thought of. Sometimes, just knowing someone else is in your corner can lighten the emotional load, even if they can’t directly solve the problems you’re facing.

If you're in a faith community, prayer and talking with a trusted spiritual advisor can also offer a profound source of comfort and guidance. Sharing your burdens with God and asking for strength, clarity, and peace can provide a sense of relief that goes beyond the immediate stressors.

6. Embrace Small Steps

When you’re staring down a long list of stressors, it’s easy to feel like you need to fix everything right now. But true progress happens one step at a time. Take a look at your list and choose one small thing you can tackle today. It doesn’t have to be monumental—something as simple as tidying up a space, making a call, or writing down your thoughts can be enough to help you feel a little more in control.

As you start to check things off, you may find that momentum builds. But even if it doesn’t, celebrate the small victories. You are doing your best, and that is more than enough.

7. Reassess Expectations and Be Kind to Yourself

Finally, when everything is stressing you out, it might be time to reassess your expectations. Sometimes we unintentionally set ourselves up for failure by expecting too much from ourselves or our circumstances. Are there areas in your life where you’re expecting perfection? Are you holding onto “shoulds” that no longer serve you?

Give yourself permission to adjust your goals, say no when necessary, and prioritize your well-being over external expectations. You are not failing if you need to lower the bar in certain areas for a time.

Be kind to yourself. Life is hard enough without the added burden of self-criticism. Treat yourself with the same grace and compassion you would offer a friend who is overwhelmed. Sometimes, the most powerful thing you can do is acknowledge that you are doing the best you can under difficult circumstances.

Final Thoughts

When it feels like everything is causing you stress, remember that it’s okay to slow down, take a breath, and focus on small, meaningful actions. Not everything can or needs to be solved today, and that’s perfectly fine. By acknowledging your stress, focusing on what you can control, allowing yourself time to rest, and seeking support from others, you’ll start to find a way through.

Life has a way of piling on stress, but with patience, self-compassion, and a step-by-step approach, you can navigate through the overwhelm. Remember, you are not alone in this, and you are capable of making it through to the other side, one small step at a time.